Hmm. I was still in school then. I was doing my NDA and see few friends of mine had a party.
So we went to a party, through the party, I met someone at the party and um, things went wrong
like very wrong at the party. I wasn’t drunk, like it was this in-house party of a thing. I wasn’t
very drunk like that so; I went inside the room and I even locked the door from behind just to be
on the safer side. I never knew he had the key to the room even though the guy has been like…
been asking me out before then…
And the only reason I could not date the guy was because I was not just okay with his lifestyle,
the way he lives on drugs and all things like that…

So, the guy believes every as in… every girl he asks out must say yes to him. Like, he is this “no
yes” guy. If he asks you out, you just have to say yes at all cost…
So, I never knew he had the keys to the room. And he just came in and the music was very loud.
So, he came inside the room, and we just got talking on a norm and… he never started anything
violent at…at first…
Yes. So, we just got talking like normal, we were talking. We were just talking and all of a
sudden, he held my hand and I felt like leave my hand, stop holding me and stuff and as at that
time, the alcohol was already in my system, and I purposely came inside the room because I
want to calm myself down…
… so that I could go out again. So, the alcohol was already active in my system, and he took… he
took the opportunity of that, and he said if I can’t have you no one else will have you…
Yes. And he said maybe if I should sleep with you once, you’ll want to like date me and stuff. He
said some things like, I never wanted to like date you, I really wanted to like get married to you
or something like that. And I knew in my mind that I’m being repulsed by the guy, like in my
mind I don’t like him, I just hate him naturally it’s just… And one thing with me is that if I don’t
like someone, my body will fight against the person immediately, even seeing the person. That’s
just my nature. [Laughs]. Well, that’s just my nature sha, if I don’t like someone I react to the
person.
Yes. Like as I’m talking to you now, if I don’t feel like talking to you, I’ll just like… It’s because
I’m convenient with you that’s why I’m talking…

So, things led to another, he pinned me down on the bed and the sex was very awful because it
wasn’t with my consent. It was very awful. I could not shout because I was trying to like… like
protect my dignity…
So, I could not shout, I could not say a word, I remember I was just looking at the ceiling and he
did whatever he wants to do (sniffs) and stood up and I wore my cloth back and he started
apologizing like almost immediately. Like, he said he lost control…
And already… I was already getting depressed even before then so that added to… Cos I felt like
maybe it’s because of my body or something like that… I don’t get. So, at some point that day I
hated myself for having such a body…
Like, why do I have a body that attracts that? Why can’t just I just have a body like normal
people who use to have their own body and…
So, I felt very bad and um… a week after that I thought of suicide. That was when I realized.